My Baby's First Year

It is hard to believe that Ellie is already one year, rarely is there a time when you actually notice the changes in a year. It is usually "Oh, your hair was a lot shorter last year" or "I can't believe that this time last year I was driving that beat up old car". But as I reflect on the past year there have been so many milestones and firsts. A smile, sitting up, a laugh or a babble, first food, first steps, first doctor visits or first day to school, and even hugs and kisses. Each one of them huge in their own rite. To Bill and I they are monumental! At our doctor's visit yesterday she measured in at 30.5" and 21 lbs 10 ozs. That is ten inches taller and almost three times what she was when she was born... WOW! She has changed so much, not just physically but she is now turning into a little person. She has determination, attitude, a good sense of humor, and mood swings (aagh, I can't wait until puberty!). To say she has a mind of her own is an understatement but it is bittersweet. It makes me want to pull my hair out some days but I know the independence is a part of growing up and will make her a better person. Now don't get me wrong I cherish that minute when she will let me hold her for her nighttime bottle before she has to get up and run around and so it on her own.
I think back to what I was thinking the first time I held her and how I felt when I first met her, I thought my heart would explode. It was more than anything I ever knew. I told her, "Little girl, I love you and I will always will but there will be times when I won't like you and you won't like me and that is ok because I will always love you!" Now I sit down and reflect on my feelings today and relize that I didn't know anything then because now I love her a million times more today then I did yesterday! I tear up at the though of anything in this great big world hurting her. I wish I could build a bubble around her to keep her safe from anything from cuts and bruises to sickness to heartache. I know I can't but it doesn't make me want to any less! A love like this truely is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I hope this next year brings just as much joy, happiness, and laughter as the last!